Finding the Right sort of Support..

It is of the utmost importance for the sufferer of mental ill health to find the most suitable counsellor and or psychiatrist. Yes while we are in the depth of despair is the worst of time to have to contend with this search. In my case my GP thought only of the cost involved and referred me to a psychiatrist because that practice bulk billed. This was helpful in getting me onto a medication which would be of assistance to my state of mind, but it was not long before it became more and apparent that this person only saw the situation from a medical point of view. Yes I am total in favor of getting the medical side of things right and it was only that the medication which was prescribed was able to help me with the situation which I faced at that time.

My mother died, we were over five hours drive away so unable to get to her before life had ended. We spent a week away from home with very limited money but we managed. As does happen at those times in families there were some unpleasant moments with siblings. Then the viewing and the funeral I do not quite know how I coped. But I did with the support of my husband and the medication I was now on enabled me to survive. I returned home and at the next appointment with my psychiatrist when asked how I was, responded with F@@K terrible. Then revealed the circumstance of the previous weeks, the response from my therapist was that I had not prepared as they had for the death of my mother.. Then my therapist told me in detail what that person had done prior to and when faced with their father’s death. Then proceeded to tell me I needed to get a divorce and move on with the rest of my life. I at that time was turning 60 years old and my mum had passed away at the age of 96 years. After that appointment I never returned to that psychiatrist but continued with medication and for quite a while had good mental health. But as depression does it returned again with even more debilitating degrees you see with my new GP’s knowledge I had tried to get off medication and it worked for a while but down I came. I was then referred by this doctor on the basis of who my doctor felt was the best therapist for me. By the time I got to see the psychiatrist I was a mess partly because of financial problem. Thank God this psychiatrist although not their usual practice realized that the financial situation was one of the stressor which had propelled me into my present situations. Cost was not going to be an issue as this psychiatrist was able to find a way of bulk billing. It was also arrange for me to see a psychologist who worked with my psychiatrist. This psychologist at first left me somewhat cold but the psychiatrist encouraged me to continue to see the psychologist. I found that the best part of the psychologist was that I could talk on for the time about whatever was on my mind without judgment or for that matter too much directing me, just hearing where I was at in I think a Rogerian context. This together with a different combination of medication has now got me to a place with my mental health where I have more good days than bad days. The bad days are manageable because I know the way back out of the pit of despair. I was able to see the psychologist with no cost to myself. Do not get into some self help groups because well meaning but untrained people can be very dangerous to our mental health.

My advice is to seek till you find what will work for you. Do not accept second best. You do know the way back from “the brink” as we all do. Do not get caught up with what others tell you what works for them, and feel you have failed because it did not work for you. There is Hope just hang in and on..Life can and will be beautiful once again.

Just Noticed an Add for GROW

It goes like this……

GROW gives hope

ARE you sick and tired of feeling miserable, worthless and unable to cope in everyday living?

If this is you then GROW may be the answer you're looking for?

GROW offers hope and solutions to many of the human problems people are experiencing in today’s society, such as anxiety, depression, phobias, obsessions, emotional and social breakdowns and relationship problems.

Don't be alone we have found a way to beat it. Friendly, confidential, anonymous, non denominational, open to all, no fuss!

Ring GROW to find your nearest group.

We understand how you feel, ?????????

Really do they know how YOU feel… I am sure they do not have a clue about how I feel…. that is our local group.. and from my contact thus far with the national association well their attitude just leaves me and others right out in the cold..

The 12 Steps … as previous I have posted really give HOPE ???

As I read them they encourage me to accept the blame for my mental health condition.. so I did something to cause my self to suffer with mental health difficulties. As for them finding how to beat it!! I am not sure what this refers to??

They suggest they have all the answers to life and all it’s mysteries such as anxiety, depression, phobias, obsessions, emotional and social breakdowns and relationship problems. Well if that were the case I am sure we would have heard more about this…

My take on it is:

if you swallow the rhetoric they suggest and follow the METHOD they recommend like a mindless individual then you are all fixed.

It really is in some ways like a cult where the followers follow what those who think they have the answers say..

As for friendly and non judgemental, confidential I am not sure they really understand it at all..

Mental Health is not an addiction.. it is as much a physical problem as any other bodily malfunction..

12 Step Self Help Groups

 

If in the 12 step programs they want us to accept that some how we have been responsible for our present condition how can that possibly be as they say we at to “carried GROW's hopeful healing and transforming message to others in similar need.”

I believe we can USE OUR KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING TO SUPPORT OTHERS WHO ARE SUFFERING.

How I would re write those 12 steps of blame and shame is:

My 12 steps of Recovery and Personal Growth

1. I recognise I have a difficulty/illness in life.

2. I firmly resolved to get well with the help I need.

3. I realise with time and support I can regain a more positive life.

4. I accept myself as I am and what I can be.

5. I take a look at who I am and what I want out of life.

6. I take each day as it comes and find pleasure in small things.

7. I take care of my body getting up and motivated just one step at a time.

8. I learned to think by reason rather than by feelings and imagination.

9. I educate my will and thinking to direct my feelings.

10. I take my responsible and caring place in society.

11. I grow daily in wisdom and knowledge of who I am and all that I can be.

12. I develop a concern for others and support others in need to grow in wisdom and knowledge of them selves.

 

This to me is a Positive message to pass on to others who may suffer the similar difficulties in life that I have had to overcome.

Doctors Medication talking about that

Ambiguous – vague – unclear literature can be confusing and misleading at times.

As per the Blue Book

It is said that "Matters pertaining to diagnosis and treatment, and technical Language from psychiatry, are banned from GROW group discussions."

It could be understood in one way that the meeting is not a place for diagnoses and that is good. But all of us at times discuss the medication and to ban the talking could send a message that medication is not a good thing. Discussion of doctors can be a good thing for sharing of experience can lead to more knowledge. It is with knowledge that each of us will understand our own issues.

Then it is Noted: "That the guidelines were formulated over 20 years ago. Since that time, as a result of the widespread careless and excessive prescription of drugs, the professional care of mental sufferers has seriously deteriorated."

Is this now suggesting that our doctors cannot be trusted with our health?

It is then surmised that "pressure of patients' unrealistic expectations has played a part in this deterioration. GROW's leadership will continue to work out, in consultation with medical authorities, the protective and corrective measures to be used in this situation of conflict, in which trust is vital but the abuse of trust is common."

Again this statement can give differing meaning to those who could misinterpret that our doctors may not be so trustworthy and others know best.

"While, therefore, our initial attitudes still stand in principle, and as a goal to be striven for, it is now regrettably necessary to urge group members generally to use great caution in choosing or continuing with a particular doctor. We note with appreciation, and endorse, the reminder of the Australian Medical Association to all concerned:"

"Medical science knows when nothing is better than something".

Again it puts into question how much our doctors can be trusted and what about medication?

Is it suggesting that there is no need for medication?

Again this statement can be very misleading:

"If you still need cough mixture you've either still got a cough or you're addicted to cough mixture."

Is this suggesting that if I still take my medication that I am still sick or maladjusted or simply addicted to the medication prescribed?

I have found the benifit of medication and have tried times with medical support to get off medication. With medication there is often side effects to contend with, but I have found that with out medication I can fall deep in a hole. Getting so low in my emotions I just did not see any reason why I should continue to live.

The one thing that I hang on to when I fall in the dark hole is how dare I leave my family with holden the ball. So I will continue to walk down my road of life, living and learning, questioning to find my own way.

Looking at Wisdoms of GROW

Wisdoms for growth

I must say at this point although I found some things within this movement not in keeping with the current understanding of Mental Health, I did find some very valuable things from my attendance at meetings.

One of the most important things that happened was finding a friend who does accept me just as I am and in spite of my shortcomings will continue to be my friend. To my friend I say a big thank YOU.

I did also meet some interesting people with many thoughts to exchange.

I believe in self supporting groups and feel there is much merit in this type of group. I found some very well meaning people although at times my opinions may differ from their opinions.

I think we all have a time to grow.....

one wisdom which will always be of value to my life is:

"That our feelings can be good servants, and even better friends, but quite terrible masters. For no matter how elevated or attractive in them self, they can unhinge our minds and disorganized our lives."

Our feelings are neither right nor wrong but it is what we do with our feelings which becomes right or wrong.

Another wisdom which makes much sense to me is:

"To have Confidence is not a feeling but it is an attitude of mind".

"Being sorry for those who don't understand you, instead of resenting them".

If we are able to take these positive wisdoms and make them part of our life our life will become happier and we may even make positive change all around.

For change can come when one person with one idea dares to stand up and say what they mean.

I welcome any comments any one may like to give for I know that I have still much to learn. If what I say offends in anyway please talk to me about what you feel.

My personal Mental Health issues are that all of my life way before it was recognized that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder was a real state of mind, together with learning difficulties I had them and had to find a way to be Normal..

Now I have come to terms with it all and accept that what ever normal is it is what it is for us all...

You can contact me kitescoot@gmail.com
feel free
What I write on this blog is my personal opinion and critique of my experiences.

Mental Health is Not an Addiction

Mental Health is not an Addiction.

It is said that: BEGINNING GROWERS are INADEQUACY OR MALADJUSTMENT

We are to enter the way of growthful change by making the humble admission of: "I am inadequate or maladjusted to life."

These words can be understood to mean mentally and/or socially and/or spiritually out of tune with reality.

Maladjusted means either in the wrong or sick. Inadequate means either immature or insufficient on my own.

The important thing is for me to recognize in myself a real disorder or insufficiency which makes it necessary for me to change and to seek help.

The only person who cannot be helped by GROW is the man or woman who is in real need and does not know it, or will not admit it.

Are they saying that all those who end up with a Mental Health issue in some way caused their own condition?

Would they also say to an Epileptic that somewhere along the way they did something to cause their condition?

As for the diabetic there may have contributing circumstance where diet has a part in the pancreas not working but there are those who by virtue of their gene pool would inevitable become diabetic.

Questions are good for unless we question things changes will never come about.

Growing to Grow

Go to grow
What is it to go to GROW?

Why use a 12 step program?

At a time when I felt that life was not really worth the living and could not see any good for my future I was encouraged to go to a GROW meeting in our local area. I was not able to get out of the house let alone get along to a meeting so alas I did not go.

This may have been the wisest thing I did at that particular time without understanding why..

Some time later after getting to see a psychiatrist who seemed to understand me better and we work through medications till we found what would help, as well as talking to a psychologist whom I really was not all that happy with, I did begin to find life once again..

That is when I thought I would give GROW a go...

It was not long before I discovered that some how it all seemed not quite right.

They use a 12 step program which is based on the AA 12 step program..

I feel they are the 12 steps to blame and shame..

Here is what the little BLUE book of GROW states why we have ended up with some sort of Mental health problem..


THE 12 STAGES OF DECLINE AND MALADJUSTMENT

1. Some how we decided to place too much importance on ourselves and our feelings.
Is it our fault that we are suffering mental ill health?

2. If we had God in our life or not we decided to become inattentive to God and God’s natural order in our lives?
God was the only thing that kept me afloat.

3. We decided to let competitive motives in dealing with others prevail over our common personal welfare?
Is it our fault?

4. Against our better judgement we expressed or suppressed certain feelings.
is it our fault?

5. Instead of following reason we decided to follow feelings and imaginations.
is it our fault??

6. Decided to neglect the care of our bodies.
I had not as I showed regularly.

7. Avoided to recognize our decline and shrank from changing.
I sure recognized my decline and was seeking support?

8. Did not recognise the real nature of our unhealthy conduct systematically disguising in our imaginations.
is it our fault?

9. Decided to become a prey to obsessions, delusions and hallucinations. .
is it our fault?

10. We decided to practice irrational habits, under elated feeling of irresponsibility or despairing feelings of inability or compulsion.
is it our fault?

11. We rejected advice and refused to co-operate with help.
I never rejected advice I was looking for a way that would be of support.

12. We lost all insight into our condition.
is it our fault?


Now non of this seemed to make sense to me but - I thought maybe maybe they knew better than me..

So I continued to go along to meetings...

When my husband asked me what the meetings was like my answer were "Under stimulating to say the Least".

I found that there was some good things but the more I looked at the program I became more and more concerned..

The little BLUE book states that the way to recovery is by these 12 steps of recovery.

THE 12 STEPS OF RECOVERY AND PERSONAL GROWTH

1. We are to Admit we are inadequate or maladjusted to life.
is it our fault we have a mental health problem?

2. We are to firmly resolved to get well and co-operate with the help that we needed.
is it our fault we have a mental health problem?

3. We are to surrender to the healing power of a wise and loving God.
I was existing only by the power of my loving GOD.

4. We are to make personal inventory and accept ourselves.
did We do something to cause our mental problem?

5. We are to make moral inventory and clean out our hearts.
Did we have to clean up our unclean heart?

6. We are to endure until cured.

7. We are to take care and control of our bodies.
Did we not take care of our bodies?

8. We are to learn to think by reason rather than by feelings and imagination.

9. We are to train our wills to govern our feelings.

10. We are to take our responsible and caring place in society.
Were we not taking our responsible and caring place in society?..

11. We grew daily closer to maturity.
Were we immature??

12. We are to carried GROW's hopeful healing and transforming message to others in similar need.
is it by assuring them they are to blame for their own mental health condition?

At the end of each meeting they would ask the question..

Who is a GROWer?....

I could never put up my hand to say that I was "not" by those standards. I knew that why I got to where I got to was not my fault but by a number of circumstances quite outside my control. Yes I did have the power to help myself with the proper support.

There is needed much change in the understanding of Mental Health for GROW to GROW.

Mental Health is NOT an addiction..... it is an illness...
We do not cause ourself to become unwell.
No more than a diabetic causes their pancreas to become ineffective.